THE ULTIMATE GIFT GUIDE FOR TEA PARTIERS OF ALL AGES

I wrote this list for @McSweeneysLists a few years ago (around Christmas time). It felt right to let it live on here.
  1. Rush Limbaugh reads Johnny Tremain: an audiobook.
  2. The Mitch McConnell holiday nutcracker-- comes w/ sack of hand picked Obamanuts.*
    *variety based on availability.
  3. 'Adam and Everest: Putting Christ Back Into Outdoor Sports: A Photo Journal' by Adam Kinzinger
  4. Ann Coulter halter top.
  5. "Fili-busterz!' A winner take all quiz game for the whole family.
  6. "Grand Old Party" elephant tea cozy.
  7. 'Unexpected Love: Putting Your Baby's Life First & Embracing The Lord's Plan' by Bristol Palin, with forward by Christine O'Donnell
  8. Mamma Grizzly & Me matching rifle sight and makeup mirror set.
  9. The Mirriam Webster Dictionary.
  10. Palin-libs. A fun fill-in-the-fake-word game for childerns.
  11. 6 oz 100% pure Glenn Beck chalk dust (oblivion marching powder).
  12. Vel-cro shoes.