These are some good things to put on cookie cakes
  1. We're all dying
  2. Grandma's dead
  3. Grandma's dead!
  4. I'm leaving you
  5. Sorry about the chlamydia
  6. I missed my period
  7. You're fired
  8. Congration
  9. Happy 8th birthday, you twat
  10. Twat
  11. We sold your bed
  12. We can't afford to send you to college anymore
  13. Skipper got out
  14. We lost the house to the bank
  15. I'm sorry I broke your neck
  16. Limp Bizkit 4evr
  17. It's terminal
  18. I'm sorry I gave you food poisoning again (celebrate with a cake)
  19. I'll probably die alone
  20. We have to amputate your legs
  21. I'm sorry I ran over Skipper
  22. I actually don't want to go to the prom with you, Ryan. Sorry
  23. Once you stop loving, you die inside. I stopped loving you years ago
  24. I'm barren
  25. I'm fully erect
  26. Beef
  27. Babysitter's dead
  28. Please don't leave me
  29. Why did you fuck Rick?
  30. I didn't get into college
  31. We can't afford to send you to college
  32. Please stop haunting me (the cake is for a ghost)
  33. You aren't really our kid
  34. I'm sorry I stabbed you
  35. Honestly, Jeneane, I don't even care anymore.
  36. I'm sorry I ate all your Fritos
  37. I accidentally stepped on your VHS copy of Tootsie
  38. I broke the TV. Also, I'm pregnant.
  39. I'm the one who she in your rose garden.
  40. I know you guys don't like the term 'Meat Sack', but, meat sack.