Im not doing too well

You don't need to read this. I just needed to write it.
  1. Maybe its the weather
  2. I feel lonely
    Not alone but lonely
  3. I have so much work to do
    For school and other obligations. I keep putting things off so the piles increase. And all I can manage to do most nights is lay in bed and have the tv on. Im not even watching it.
  4. My body hurts
    My hips, my arms, my fingers.
  5. I am always so tired
    But I can't sleep when I want to. I can only sleep during the day when I am suppose to be in class
  6. And they keep on telling me to "do better"
    My professors say I am not pushing myself. They call me boring. They expect more but I don't know why they think I have more to give.
  7. I can't go out
    I feel like such a buzzkill when I am out because I know I'd rather be home. I don't know how to socialize anymore.
  8. I keep buying things
    I know things arent good because I keep buying things. I spend so much money when I'm down. I really did not need to bid on this Mid Century Slide Projector
  9. I look in the mirror and gag
    I know I look fine but something looks off. I just feel dirty and ugly and uncomfortable.
  10. What is happening
    I miss being ok