Shit my grandma says

Translated from chinese
  1. Help me use the "ding"
    She means microwave
  2. I love white people
  3. Eat more oranges
  4. Stop touching your forehead. You don't want to go bald
  5. I don't know where I left my (insert fruit here)
  6. How long do I "ding" it for
  7. This water is too dry
  8. You're tongue does not look healthy