THINGS MY FLAT IN SCOTLAND IS TOO COLD FOR

  1. Softening ice cream
    There's no point even putting in the freezer. The whole apartment is a freakin freezer.
  2. Hanging out naked when your roommate is gone
    I can be found in sweatpants over leggings and at least two sweaters at all times.
  3. Being productive
    Amplified by the fact that we only get six hours of sunlight (exponentially less for me, as I live underground), work is not an option. I'm cold. It's dark. I'm automatically in bed. Doesn't that just mean it's time to sleep?
  4. Feeling all ten toes at once
    Current count is eight.
  5. Shaving your legs
    Trying to avoid goosebumps in the shower is like trying to avoid haggis on Burns Night. Useless and disappointing.
  6. Drying laundry
    It's fun wearing damp clothes and being sick all the time. No really.
  7. Not owning a hot water bottle, a portable heater and scar cream
    When you're so frozen you're numb, it takes longer to register the burn of boiling water or realize that the heater you have subconsciously ended up sitting on is burning your thigh. Scar cream becomes a must.
  8. Leaving the apartment
    Outside is even worse because it's about the same temperature except with the bonus of rain.