Sexy Texts I've Sent
an ongoing disaster
- •"I'm horny for vitamins!"
- •"When we start our illicit love affair, and then I viciously murder you - your profile picture will be the one the local news will use to broadcast us."
- •"My biggest 2014 regret is not having keys to your apartment, so that I can go to Whole Foods and then come back and eat soup in your bed. But life isn't always fair."
- •"Sorry for the late response! I just got back from Korean BBQ and rollerskating!"
- •"At least Robert Durst cared about someone enough to kill them."
- •"I’m just sitting around my apartment with soccer shorts on, eating a burrito, and panicking about getting murdered - so come over whenever!"
- •"And by I looked cute, you mean I look liked str8-up garbage trash?"
- •"Ooooh, the aquarium is nice! I went there on my first date"
- •"You have a Catfish kind of appeal"
- •"Just like Tina Knowles, I am also ready to love again!"
- •"All boys are DERTBAGZ! Lol jk, you seem cool"
- •"I wish I was 🔥 enough to be manhandled"