REASONS MY OFFICE MAKES ME THINK I AM IN A TIME WARP

or: how I know I don't work at a startup. @AnneS please add
  1. the Internet crashes when it rains
    (reason I am currently listing)
  2. I am in constant need of reinforcements
    I asked @gabe to steal some from his office since they give them free things there. he asked me: what is a reinforcement?
  3. our preferred mode of communication is fax
  4. my desk phone looks like this and does not ring when receiving a call
  5. there are 3 unique keys but 25 offices
    security wasn't always a thing right?
  6. I think we are all going to get asbestos poisoning
    Suggested by   @Anne
  7. Parts of our building make me think of a what a troll's lair would look like on Middle Earth
    @shayna particularly the random staircase to nowhere when you walk in on the first floor
    Suggested by   @Anne
  8. I do not have an answering machine/voicemail on my phone
    Suggested by   @Anne
  9. patients often call from pay phones or landlines
  10. above mentioned staircase /troll's lair
  11. It is so hot in the building in the winter that I have to wear sandals and my coworker uses a fan and it is so cold in the summer that my other coworker uses a space heater.
    Suggested by   @Anne