PURCHASES I HAVE MADE WHILE ON AMBIEN

  1. An Amazon Prime membership
  2. 1 Si Robertson bobble head
  3. 1 pack of red RSVP pens
  4. 3 packs of black Bic pens
  5. A "Beauty & the Beast" coloring book
  6. A jumbo tub of Red Vines
  7. A DustBuster
  8. 3 Snuggies
    1 blue, 1 maroon, 1 pink with peace signs
  9. 1 knock-off Snuggie
    "Wolverine"-themed
  10. The complete works of Kenny Goldsmith
  11. A subscription to The New Yorker
  12. "Wildfire" on DVD
    #teamjunior
  13. Knitting needles & yarn
    I was allergic to the yarn.
  14. 3 copies of "Franny & Zooey"
    Delivered two days later to 3 Salinger-hating friends
  15. "Gilmore Girls": the full series on iTunes
    #teamjess
  16. Pizza
    Once I even added pineapple.
  17. Lobster Mac n Cheese
  18. Multiple black sweaters
  19. Flowers
    With the note: "Thank you for being my parents."
  20. Nonsensical domain names
  21. The song "Timber"
  22. 1 math textbook
  23. Countless "coins" for Scramble With Friends
    My brother still won.