1. What ever happened to Steve Gutenberg?
  2. How do the Litchfield inmates all have perfectly tweezed eyebrows at all times?
    Like, even in the flashbacks (see: angsty teen Boo).
  3. Is my lisp staging a comeback?
  4. Should I cancel my drinks tonight?
    (Spoiler alert: canceled my drinks tonight.)
  5. But really, is Sophia doing all of these eyebrows?
  6. Can I wear Sharknado socks on Casual Friday?
  7. When will I be rid of this awkward phone voice for good?
    Will I ever be rid of this awkward phone voice for good?
  8. What should I read next?
  9. Does Snuggie send free blankets to super fans the way sometimes Chobani will send free yogurts?
    Not opposed to Tweeting at them or even sending some good ol' snail fan mail. Instagram might just hurt my cause.
  10. Am I wasting my 20s?
  11. What am I gonna watch next?