5 THINGS I HOPE PEOPLE SAY ABOUT ME BEHIND MY BACK

  1. 1.
    That they should not ask me to help them move
    This is more of a suggestion than a hope
  2. 2.
    That they like how much I like to sleep
    Nobody likes how much I like to sleep
  3. 3.
    That I speak very good Spanish
    This is 100% being said by my future life partner's mother who only speaks Spanish (and is said in Spanish obvi)
  4. 4.
    That that girl across the street is always naked in her window and they don't mind
    My curtains are very sheer. I also hope that these people have not seen me in bad underwear or singing shakira.
  5. 5.
    That I look like someone who has their life organized.
    Someone did say this about me today LOL LOL and more LOLs