1. I did not wash my hair today
  2. I did not pack for my trip tomorrow
  3. I did not unpack my room after the move
  4. I did not paint my nails for this goddamn wedding
  5. I did not drink enough water today
  6. I obviously didn't make my bed
  7. I am probably going to be late for work
  8. I almost got hit by a car on Bedford Ave because I was checking this app
    Suggested by @originalamericantrt