REMEMBER...

  1. That time in Chinatown at 5am when you ate soft shell crab and drank beers and let some stranger read your diary out loud to the whole restaurant
    The girl he was with said , "This is a joke, right?"
  2. That time in Costa Rica when you and Jane went to some German guy's house in the jungle and he got completely naked and told us that Marcos was a very common name in the bible
    You idiot.
  3. That time you hung out with a group of Trinidadian men at 10 am at the Labor Day parade and ate jerk chicken and drank coronas and talked to them about feminism
    Did not resonate
  4. That time you went to a party in Buenos Aires after being out at some FREAKY clubs and you asked someone what time it was and they said "noon".
    Probably the craziest night of your whole life and you do not say that lightly
  5. That time on the subway when a very very drunk girl named Tiffany forced you to be her friend on Instagram
    Right after she was almost escorted off the train by NYPD for straddling strangers and verbally accosting a very angry man from Boston
  6. That time in Sevilla when Danielle took a shot of vermouth out of the cap of the bottle and made out with some strange man, then we went and sat on a bridge and cried, then went into some Brazilian man's apartment
    I think he also got naked....Don't worry you don't really go into strange men's homes much anymore...much.
  7. That time everyone you lived with went to a full moon party in a treehouse in Nicaragua and you wore a referee shirt and a fez hat
    There was a firehouse pole
  8. That time you and Danielle drove from Córdoba to Mendoza at 125 mph with a bunch of argentine guys in narcotics anonymous
    Boy do they love maté even more than the average argentine
  9. That time you accidentally went to the murder capital of the world cause you didn't have a map or a phone
    And your pants ripped in the crotch getting into a cab and you weren't wearing any underwear
  10. That time you thought your French was ON POINT because you did duo lingo for 2 weeks and you accidentally ordered an entire bottle of wine for yourself at 11 am
    French dude was like must be Tuesday
  11. That time when you were at a bar in El Salvador and the entire bar went down to the beach and got naked and swam for hours and hours
    Possibly one of the best nights of my life
  12. This is also a pretty comprehensive list of times you could've been seriously murdered.