Assurance I Never Imagined Having to Make

Alternate Title: I am so, so, sorry, future sex-ed teacher
  1. Me: Aviva, wear your hat. It's hot out.
  2. Aviva: I can't. There are penis germs in it
  3. Me: What?
  4. Aviva: Benji put his penis in it to bug me the other day.
  5. Me: Has it been more than a 24-hour period? When did this happen?
  6. Aviva: The other day
  7. Me: Phewf. You're good. Penis germs only last for 24 hours. It's a known fact.
  8. Aviva: How long is 24 hours?
  9. Me: One day and one night. You are okay. Especially because it was a hat. Penis germs don't last as long in hats.
  10. Aviva: Okay, that's lucky (puts hat on).
  11. Me: I will be right back. I'm just going to have a quick word with your brother.