Exciting Things That Have Happened to Me Recently

It's a short list.
  1. Finding my first age spot and being sad. Washing it off and being happy.
    Turned out it was chocolate
  2. Walking with my giant stroller and having some likely hoodlums yell "MILF" out their car window.
    Take note young listers, one day your standards will sink to this level too.
  3. Discovering that lemon Popsicles don't stain
    They are transparent. And delicious. Goodbye dastardly strawberry and grape.
  4. Realizing that I know my credit card number by heart
    Hassle-free online shopping, here I come
  5. Discovering that my twenty-month-old doesn't recognize white chocolate as something yummy.
    No sharing required.
  6. No explanation necessary