Lists I Would Write if li.st Were Anonymous

  1. Weird things I do in private
    Like chewing five pieces of gum at the same time. Gross, I know.
  2. Things I should know, but don't
    So. Many. Things. Like the order of the planets in the solar system. Which dinosaur belongs to which period. How our scanner works. I will stop here but there is so much more. It's borderline-tragic, really.
  3. Reasons I find my MIL so unbelievably irritating
    This could be a very funny list that I can never write because in addition to possibly being the most unbelievably irritatating person to have ever walked the earth, she is a good person (better than me, I suspect) and a wonderful, loving grandmother.
  4. Major mistakes my in-laws made while raising my husband
    See above. He could also do the same list about my parents. I bet he would claim that his would be longer. It wouldn't be.
  5. Regretful things that I have done
    Some are benign (why did I eat all of that chocolate after breakfast??) but the meaningful ones are too personal.