1. I wouldn't know about important holidays
    For example, today is National Flip Flop day. I almost suffered the embarrassment of wearing regular sandals.
  2. I know when it's the one day a year things are *not* thirty percent off
    Also known as National Suckers' Day
  3. That little ping on my phone is a nice distraction.
    Otherwise I might become too engrossed doing less important things, like paying attention to humans.
  4. Because I enjoy hearing that the summer wardrobes I bought my kids last week at thirty percent off have been reduced to forty percent off.
    It's an excellent life lesson (that I am apparently still learning)
  5. But I really do like a sale
    Which is why I haven't unsubscribed