Reasons I Don't Want to See Your Naturopath
- •Sugar makes me happyAnd listening to you talk about how you don't crave it anymore makes me sad (and also, it's crazy-annoying).
- •I don't want to give up dairyThat dairy-free stuff you eat is not chocolate. I don't know what trauma you sufferered to make you believe that it is.
- •I don't like green juiceDo you? REALLY?
- •I love glutenPossibly as much as I love my husband
- •Coconut oil mixed with cocoa and maple syrup and frozen is not effing ice creamIt's an appetite suppressant