The Six Stages of a Box of Chocolate

  1. 1.
    Denial
    I like chocolate but I am an adult with excellent self-control. I will eat one a day. Maybe one every second day. I am in control.
  2. 2.
    Anger
    There is no way I have already eaten half a box. Someone else has been eating my chocolate.
  3. 3.
    Bargaining
    As soon as I finish this box, I will be done with candy for good. I should eat more now to make this happen sooner.
  4. 4.
    Satisfaction
    Done with you! You no longer have control over me dastardly turtles!
  5. 5.
    Depression
    I miss you guys and your cute little pecan faces (and/or feet).
  6. 6.
    Acceptance
    I am an adult with the self-control of a teenaged monkey. I am going to go out and get another box before the stores close. I will eat half the box in my car on the way home.