STUFF THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME TODAY (SO FAR)

I need a drink. (Also, this all was not in my own house. I'm catsitting.)
  1. I woke up
    As people do
  2. I saw a text from my boss that the office is closed
    SNOW DAY SNOW DAY
  3. I walked into the kitchen and stepped in a puddle in my socks
  4. Looked around for the source of the puddle
  5. Realized that part of the ceiling had caved in, and was leaking
  6. Panicked
  7. Took pictures and called the homeowner
  8. Frantically started to take things out of the cabinets near the leak/falling ceiling
  9. Heard the ceiling crack
  10. Shouted "nooooooooooooooo" and leapt off the counter
    In slow-mo, probably
  11. Watched from across the kitchen as the ceiling fell
  12. Saw drywall and insulation raining down onto the floor
  13. Shouted profanities for awhile
  14. I then took a lot of snapchats instead of doing somethibg
  15. Then I cleaned the mess.
  16. Shoveled the snow so that I could actually leave the house
  17. Drank tea
  18. The end.
    It's only 9 am.