REASONS WHY THE HOLIDAYS ARE AMAZING/AWFUL

Every year you look forward to the holidays/at the same time you dread them.
  1. The food! Cookies, Pies, Roasted dead things!/You spend $1000 on groceries and you've gained 10lbs.
  2. The presents! You've bought the perfect gifts, but that's not what the holidays are about and you know that./You're broke and no one likes your thoughtful gifts; they just want a gift card.
  3. The music! Bing singing about snow! Mariah singing about love! Ah! My heart is swelling!/This fucking song is on AGAIN????
  4. The decorations! Twinkling lights,Boughs of holly, Oh Christmas Tree!/Why aren't the lights twinkling? What is a BOUGH? You want HOW MUCH for a dead tree???
  5. The movies! Scrooged. White Christmas. Love Actually. Charlie Brown./ Anything on the Hallmark Channel