I'M NOT HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS

  1. No, really, I'm not.
  2. I'm here to make money.
    Well, at least enough to pay my rent and to purchase enough nude thongs to get me through fashion week and maybe some coffee dates with girls from my agency.
  3. But, I'm not here to make friends.
  4. I am here to book Vogue.
    And Calvin Klein and Victoria's Secret or at least be tagged in a photo on Instagram with an Angel.
  5. Again, I promise I'm not here to make friends.
  6. I want to become the next Heidi Klum.
    Maybe I'll host my own reality show or write a cookbook or even a memoir. I guess I'll need stories for that memoir...
  7. But, like I said, I'm not here to make friends.
  8. Unless they're male friends.
    But only athletes or actors under 5'10." I don't need my own Bradley or Leo or Jake, I just need someone who will take me to premiers and let me sit court side at basketball games.
  9. No, honestly, I'm not here to make friends.
    Other models bring negative energy in my life. I am enough negative energy. Two hungry me's is enough for my circle, but like, we can chit chat at Soul Cycle, I guess.
  10. Really.