a haiku for boys I've had crushes on, chronologically

inspired by @hpryfogle who was inspired by @perry
  1. Kindergarten crush/ Was such a total cutie/ Still attractive, how?
    Bitter he never had an awkward phase
  2. The karate kid/ Nerdy and fairly sassy/ What a short-lived crush
    I almost forgot he existed
  3. Boy from Iowa/ Imagined marrying him/ Too bad he liked Lily
    No harm, no foul
  4. You were so funny/ Unparalleled confidence/ Shame you were a jerk
  5. The upperclassman/ Why was I crushing on him?/ Was it his muscles?
    Hint: yes
  6. The cliché best friend/ Very unoriginal/ Forget about it
    :/
  7. Hi, I'm Shivani/ Could this be love at first sight?/ Oops, you're an asshole
    (It was actually "Soy Shivani.")
  8. Did I like you though?/ Or did I like being liked?/ Not sure, I'm sorry
    Low self-confidence leads to bad decisions
  9. Everything I want/ On paper, he is perfect/ But I feel nothing
    Not meant to be, I guess
  10. Like you when I'm drunk/ If we were always wasted/ I would marry you
    Drunk goggles=😍