1. I was obsessed with surprise birthday parties. In fifth grade, I finally got one. But a kid who was pissed off that my parents did not invite him retaliated by telling me about the party.
  2. Dinner at Mellow Mushroom and my friends yelling HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHOM when the waiter walked by so we'd get free dessert. We did not get free dessert.
  3. When I didn't invite a girl to my party freshman year and her birthday post on my wall was a passive-aggressive "HBD. Thanks for inviting me to your party."
  4. The eternal struggle of having a summer birthday because nobody is in town to celebrate with you.
  5. Realizing that June 18 is 3 days before summer solstice so I actually have a spring birthday.
  6. Cookie cake.