THINGS WHICH CAUSE MY CAT EXISTENTIAL ANGST AND CONFUSION

these are the things that make her bolt out of a dead sleep and run over to look at whatever's going on and try to stick her entire face in it
  1. the printer
    she always tries to walk on it WHILE it's printing
  2. when someone cleans her litter box
    her expression is a mixture of shock, disgust, embarrassment, and haughty high-class snootiness over the fact that she doesn't have to clean up her own shit
  3. when someone is chopping vegetables
    sticks her face directly in front of the knife
  4. the whale sounds that I play sometimes on my record player
    combination of the noises with the spinning disc really makes her go nuts
  5. when I find the stash of toy mice that she hid in the hall closet and she acts like she's never seen them before in her life
    totally appalled and astounded even though SHE PUT THEM THERE