Actual Things My Friend Has Said, Taken Out of Context

The ridiculous things one of my friends says. Her delivery is gold
  1. 1.
    Sometimes I think I need to start taking drugs
  2. 2.
    When I go to sleep, am I half dead?!
  3. 3.
    You're a square, Shreya. No one does math on graph paper. Only like 30% of people do math on graph paper
  4. 4.
    I told this really horrible joke today- Instead of college, I'm Guantanamo bay bound
  5. 5.
    I forgot to make my constitution yesterday--oh sorry, my manifesto
  6. 6.
    I read this article- if you're mad all the time or happy all the time, you're probably gonna die soon.
  7. 7.
    That's not his name, Mr. Mango???
    This was in reference to a sub named Mr. Angove
  8. 8.
    I want to give Kasich a hug! I want a Kasich hug!
  9. 9.
    In the morning I get up and then I just sit on the toilet and read the news
  10. 10.
    You know what I learned today? Don't judge people. But judge them if they're voting for Trump
  11. 11.
    I'm just like "GIRL you're wearing a tunic as a dress"
  12. 12.
    Octopi? Is that really a word? I thought we can just use that whenever we wanted, like compi
    Compi as in the plural of compass
  13. 13.
    If I don't reach my goals, I will set up a punishment system of no Thai food
    "I have Thai food 3-4 times a week"
  14. 14.
    You don't NEED clothes at a rave!
  15. 15.
    No. I pee, like, every period