Actual Things My Friend Has Said, Taken Out of Context
The ridiculous things one of my friends says. Her delivery is gold
- 1.Sometimes I think I need to start taking drugs
- 2.When I go to sleep, am I half dead?!
- 3.You're a square, Shreya. No one does math on graph paper. Only like 30% of people do math on graph paper
- 4.I told this really horrible joke today- Instead of college, I'm Guantanamo bay bound
- 5.I forgot to make my constitution yesterday--oh sorry, my manifesto
- 6.I read this article- if you're mad all the time or happy all the time, you're probably gonna die soon.
- 7.That's not his name, Mr. Mango???This was in reference to a sub named Mr. Angove
- 8.I want to give Kasich a hug! I want a Kasich hug!
- 9.In the morning I get up and then I just sit on the toilet and read the news
- 10.You know what I learned today? Don't judge people. But judge them if they're voting for Trump
- 11.I'm just like "GIRL you're wearing a tunic as a dress"
- 12.Octopi? Is that really a word? I thought we can just use that whenever we wanted, like compiCompi as in the plural of compass
- 13.If I don't reach my goals, I will set up a punishment system of no Thai food"I have Thai food 3-4 times a week"
- 14.You don't NEED clothes at a rave!
- 15.No. I pee, like, every period