I JUST PURCHASED A ROAD BIKE

  1. Y'all.
  2. I'm going for my first ride in the next hour.
  3. What if my tire explodes
  4. And I land in the Atlantic ocean
  5. And a Great White shark swallows me whole
    We have those here.
  6. But my helmet protects me from its teeth
  7. And it accidentally chokes and coughs me up
    So bad that its shark pal slides a glass of water with lemon towards him and says "you ok, man?"
  8. And then I have to swim while wearing a bike helmet