Metaphors for Sunday Evening

hnnnnnggh.
  1. You're at a bakery purchasing a cake.
    Then someone comes up and punches you in the stomach.
  2. You're riding a merry-go-round and you picked the awesome tiger for a seat and it's a blast.
    Then someone comes up and punches you in the stomach.
  3. You're at a spa getting the Platinum Triple Deluxe Package for free as a gift from your best friend just because they think you're awesome.
    Then someone comes up and punches you in the stomach.
  4. You're on a jet ski in the Caribbean. The sun is shining and a piña colada is waiting for you back on shore.
    Then someone dolphin-kicks their way out of the ocean and punches you in the stomach.
  5. You just submitted your taxes and breathe a sigh of relief.
    Then someone comes up and punches you in the stomach.
  6. You're eating a huge, delicious plate of spaghetti and meatballs made by a top chef but no one is around to see you shove it in your face like an animal.
    The someone comes up and punches you in the stomach.
  7. You're lying on the couch, watching Netflix and drinking Chardonnay, wrapped in a warm blanket.
    Then someone comes up and punches you in the stomach.