ATTENTION BERNIE BACKERS. THIS IS IMPORTANT.

Are you a Bernie supporter? This is for you. Do you support Hillary? Hey, good on you. Are you a republican? Fuck are you doing here? Move along. This is for us. If you are a Bernie backer, I need you to hear something.
  1. Bernie MAY be a democratic socialist, but first and foremost HES A FUCKING DEMOCRAT.
    Let that sink in. Ok, got that...?
  2. He shares about 90% of the same platform as HRC.
    I googled it. Did I do a thorough search? No. But I've listened and read and spoken enough to know this is mostly accurate.
  3. The other 10% IS STUFF HE WONT BE LIKELY TO GET DONE.
    I LOVE your idealism. I do. I also loved all the "hopey, changey" Obama stuff (yes I quoted Sarah Palin). But this is the real world and politics and Washington. And as an adult who lives in the real world, we must be able to be happy with what we can achieve.
  4. Ted Cruz is the zodiac killer. Or maybe the antichrist.
    Like, for real. He want a theocracy. Like Iran.
  5. Trump wants to bang his own daughter (google it.)
    He's also completely unprepared and unqualified to run the country.
  6. Does Bernie want to be President? Yes.
    And are his positions on banks and big pharma admirable? Is he right? Oh gosh yes.
  7. Does that matter?
    No.
  8. Listen to this, Bernie Supporters. This is important.
    If/when Bernie loses the nomination, HE WILL support Hillary. He will NOT run as a third party. He WILL NOT WANT YOU TO VOTE FOR HIM. HE WILL NOT WANT TO TAKE VOTES AWAY FROM THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY.
  9. If you LOVE Bernie, and you don't vote in the general?
    You may as well vote for trump.
  10. If you love Bernie and you vote for him even after he endorses Hillary?
    You may as well vote for trump.
  11. If you love Bernie and you write his name in?
    You may as well vote for Trump.
  12. If you hate HRC so much that you vote for trump?
    Well you're just stupid.
  13. So, in short.
    If you're a Bernie-or-bust type and you plan on not voting for Hillary? Grow up. Be an adult and live in the real world. Go throw your little tantrum in private, then put on your big-kid pants and vote for the democratic nominee. Because otherwise...