FEELIN SELF DESTRUCTIVE

You ever get that itch? You wanna do something (or someone HEY-OHHHH) but you know it's the wrong way to go? Just because you want to fuck something up? Maybe just for attention? So, should I...?
  1. Cut my hair?
    Number one thing I get compliments on. It finally looks how I've wanted it to look since 8th grade. Should I go Russian from Rocky IV?
  2. Shave off this glorious beard?
    Plot twist- I'm definitely already knee deep in "winter chub so this is a bad plan for my fat face.
  3. Lay in bed and eat pizza and drink beer at 10am
    I might already be doing this
  4. Post a weird Craigslist ad and catfish someone
    But who would I pretend to be?
  5. See if I can finally get a speeding ticket (that's a separate white privilege list)
    Wife took my car tho... so I'm driving her big white trailblazer.
  6. Take a road trip and meet a lister picked at random (Midwest only)
    Not for that, sickies. I'm sure I could find a hookup in cincy if I were feeling THAT self destructive.
  7. Pick a fight. Not on Facebook.
    I'm undefeated in my lifetime of fist fights, tho it has been a while. Like 22 years.