THE ABSOLUTE TRUE STORY OF WHAT HAPPENED TO MY FACE TODAY

  1. So as you can see in my avi, I wear a beard.
    I didn't always. I worked for a place for 12 years that didn't allow them, so for the last 3 years since I left there, I've only shaved like, 4 times.
  2. I noticed a few nights ago that because of the unreliable trimmers I use, my beard had portions which were twice as long as others
    Probably my fault, but whatever
  3. As I mentioned in a previous list, I dye my beard
    I always have actually. In high school I dyed the blonde parts dark. But I've always had a little bit of grey.
  4. Today as I'm trimming I notice I have two patches that are 100% grey on my chin.
    Oh.
  5. So I finish my evening out and realize that more than 50% of my beard is grey.
    Wow. When did that happen?!
  6. So I decide I'm going to go down to stubble. I look good with stubble.
    But apparently I look good as stubble is growing out. Because when I'm trimming DOWN...
  7. More than 90% of my stubble is grey or WHITE.
    I felt like I was hallucinating!
  8. So I shaved my whole face.
    It's cold.
  9. And yes, I used that fancy snapchat filter that is basically sorcery the way it eliminates skin issues. Shut up.