When something goes missing, you pretty much know who did it, right? We're low on spoons = kids aren't being their lunches home. My jacket is missing = wife wore it. The pretzels I just bought are gone? Kids.
  1. But a couple weeks ago my son wanted to make Mac and cheese. He's 12. He can do this. "Ok man grab the black pan from the cabinet."
  2. "There's no black pan."
  3. So I check the cabinet. Because sometimes kids can't see things right in front of them. He's right. It's not there. Hmmm.
  4. So I check the dishwasher. Nope.
  5. I check the other cabinets (sometimes my mother in law puts away dishes and sometimes they get out away in curious locations.) nope.
  6. So now I'm looking for someone to blame. It's not uncommon for my kids to take food to their rooms (even tho this is categorically not allowed.). But a pan? That's unlikely.
  7. I check the places it could be. Nope. But wait
  8. My eldest daughter, off at college, had people over on New Years. Maybe they took it up to the 3rd floor where they were hanging out.
  9. Nope.
  10. Well fine. It's gone. We used a different pan.
  11. But this pan has been around man. It's older than my kids. My wife had it when we first moved in together in 1998.
  12. Then today I'm watching my dogs thru the back window
  13. And I see it
  14. Static
  15. Static
  16. Static
  17. Static
  18. Static
  19. One day, after the younger kids went back to school and we back to work, my eldest daughter made herself ramen noodles.
  20. And then fell asleep.
  21. With the noodles boiling.
  22. And they caught fire.
  23. Which she apparently noticed right away (she says)
  24. And she put the fire out and put the pan outside because it was smoking.
  25. And left it there
  26. Because she sucks.