TODAY WOULD HAVE BEEN MY MOTHER'S 65TH BIRTHDAY
Before you ask, Lung cancer. Lifelong smoker. 9.6.51 - 9.1.04. She passed away before she had a chance to meet my son who was born just two months later.
- •When I was 5-ish I had this E.T. Pencil case. Somehow I got it into my head that if I wrote E.T. ON little scraps of paper I could sell them as autographs. MY mom bought at least 5 of them before telling me to get away from her.
- •She always ate cake out of a bowl with milk on it. I did not know this was weird.
- •When she was in her late 30s her best friend was a high school student named Katie. They worked together at jcpenny. In retrospect this seems weird. They drank a lot of kahlua.
- •She bought a very large tv so she and I could watch without our glasses. THAT lasted 5 mins until we realized it was still better with our glasses. We were very upset.
- •She worked lots of shitty jobs trying to keep us afloat and not lose our home.
- •One time she kicked my brothers bedroom door off its hinges. I do not remember what he had done but I remember thinking I was glad she didn't know I had done it too.
- •She was small. 5'3 I think. Once while I was in high school she waited in the dark for me to come home and jumped out and scared me and a friend so badly I thought he'd had a heart attack.
- •When she visited me at my job once in college she very clearly hit on a friend of mine. He was embarrassed. IT was amazing.
- •After I moved out she was alone with my little brother who was 5 at the time. She worked nights and often found it hard to monitor what he was doing. She often woke up with marker all over her face. When I asked if that pissed her off she just laughed and was glad he was happy.
- •She ruined one of my best lies. When I met my wife I convinced her I was not ticklish. You only try to tickle someone a few times unsuccessfully before you give up (no one wants to keep trying to tickle someone just staring at them).The real truth was I am not ticklish for 45 seconds. Unless my mom came at me. Then I would giggle before she even touched me. This happened in front of my wife. She was legit pissed. She often tickles me now.
- •Unfortunately the song that makes me think of her most is "touch me" BY the doors. NOT exactly the kind of song you want to make you think of your mom. She liked the song!
- •Also I grew up listening to Melissa Manchester, Air Supply, Hall & Oates and a whole bunch of other smarmy garbage. lol
- •Even in her failing health she came to my college graduation even tho she had to wear a head scarf and "look like a leper."
- •She was so happy when she got her "handicrapped" car sticker. "Now I can park anywhere the fuck I want!"
- •52 years wasn't long enough, mom.