YOU ASKED IF I HAD A PLAN.

I have a few close friends on list. I have a few I brought from other places. And I guess my cousin is here too.
  1. My life has been... well, an adventure, for the past few years.
  2. I made a bad choice at a job, got fired, and my family has struggled ever since. We've never really recovered.
  3. Recently I quit my somewhat secure retail sales gig. I made some money, but not enough to justify how much of my kids lives I was missing. So I went to real estate school.
  4. After school I joined a broker and it didn't work out. Didn't mesh. Hard to say why, really.
  5. Christmas was coming and I decided to go back to retail.
  6. But the place that wanted me dragged me thru a craaaazy interview process. So after the 6th interview I asked them to hire me on the spot. They wanted me to interview once more. I had wasted two months on this company. I told them no. Walked away.
  7. I joined another broker. This place is great. I have a buyer. Things are looking up.
  8. During my transition my buyer (friends of mine) buys their home with the help of a different agent.
  9. I am in a funk. My family is existing on my wife's teacher salary and various loans I've taken out. I've borrowed money from friends. One of whom is now no longer my friend because I haven't been able to repay.
  10. You see me struggling. You're concerned. We are friends. Our community here on list has been rocked by tragedy before. Something we didn't see coming. You are concerned from my withdrawal and things I say that I might be suicidal.
  11. You aren't wrong.
  12. But I won't. I can't. As hard as things are, I couldn't. I can't do that to my kids, my wife, my friends.
  13. You ask if I have a plan. I assume you mean do I know how I'd kill myself.
  14. Of course I do.
  15. I have life insurance.
  16. I can't make it look like a suicide.
  17. I drive across the Ohio river twice a day. Sometimes more.
  18. No one would drive off the bridge on purpose. No one would drown on purpose.
  19. Which is why my life insurance would pay off. They'd never suspect I committed suicide by driving off the bridge and into the Ohio.
  20. Especially since everyone knows how unlucky I am with cars. No one would question it.
  21. That is how I'd do it. I'd plunge myself into the Ohio.
  22. Thank you for worrying about me. Thank you for knowing me.