How I Ended Up Throwing Up on the Entire Schwarzenegger Family in Hawaii

This happened when I was 15! Not my finest moment.
  1. I ate too much at the breakfast buffet.
    I have never, ever been able to control myself at a breakfast buffet. And this was a Four Seasons all-you-can-eat buffet, so it was the BEST. Eggs Benedict! Nutella crepes! Belgian waffles! Bagels and lox! I ate it all.
  2. I spotted the Schwarzenegger family.
    They were staying at the same hotel, and I followed them around because I wanted Arnold to record my voicemail ("I'll be back"). I picked a beach chair right next to them.
  3. I laid out in the sun.
    Minutes after I finished eating like a football player, I assumed a horizontal position, which is horrible for digestion. It didn't help that it was scorching hot, and that I slathered tanning oil on my teenage body.
  4. I sat up.
    Thirty minutes or so passed, and then I started to feel dizzy. I sat up to drink water and proceeded to vomit everywhere. Since the Schwarzeneggers were right next to me, they ended up in the line of fire. Oy!