Weird and Uncomfortable Pr Pitches

Like most journalists, I receive a whole lot of terrible press releases. This list (all about food, my beat) is just a sampling.
  1. "Bernie Madoff's Favorite Chinese Restaurant Shuts Down"
  2. "Food Spots to Meet a Banker This Summer"
  3. "Bar Brings Bloody Burlesque to Bushwick"
  4. "Rock Out With Your Guac Out"
  5. A salad called "Spring Booty Slim Down" that's made with Pirate's Booty
  6. "Rachael Ray Gives Shelter Cats Makeovers This Friday"
  7. "With a mere six days and counting to Shark Week, I wanted to check in about our shark tacos."
  8. "Safe Alternative to Juicing While Pregnant"
  9. "Kale is dead and sunchoke is alive and kicking."
  10. "Nick Cannon and Nicole Murphy had a romantic dinner at Tavern on the Green on Saturday. A Mariah Carey song started playing during their dinner, but they were too into each other to pay attention."