Listed in order of least to most shameful, for dramatic purposes.
  1. Comte paired with siracha pretzel crisps and a dark amber ale.
  2. Piece of cut-up quesadilla I stole from the baby.
  3. Frozen cookie dough, directly from my mother's freezer.
  4. Cold pizza leftover from a drunken night before that failed to make it to the refrigerator.
  5. Half a jar of Nutella, with a spoon.
  6. Cold leftover mashed potatoes eaten by the fingerful
  7. A cupcake I threw away in order to prevent eating, fished out of the trash (top layer, I do have SOME standards), icing removed where it touched refuse.