ON BABY SHAMPOO

Mostly why you make no sense.
  1. Apparently you are supposed to be mild and gentle, but you somehow burn my eyes more than any other shampoo brand in the galaxy.
  2. Your potency level is too intense.
    Does this mean baby nostrils smell baby levels of things?
  3. When in use in bathtub showers, yellow stuff is all over the place.
    In case I really miss the scent of Comet?
  4. When in use in antique showers aka the kind with almost-yellow tile, you blend in and are the most slippery SOB I've ever met.
  5. My mom only buys you at the Dollar Tree, and I want that dollar back to buy something useful in life like metal-free hair elastics...
  6. ... And Pellegrino.
    (In Westchester county)
  7. Baby Jesus didn't use you.