MOST ANNOYING KINDS OF PATIENTS WHO SHOW UP AT A MEDICAL PRACTICE

  1. "I know I was just here yesterday and you told me everything was fine, but I'd like to show you my genitals again nonetheless."
  2. "I know I was just here yesterday and you told me everything would be fine in a few days, but it's been 12 hours and it's still not better."
  3. "I'm going away on a trip tomorrow and just want to make sure it's nothing" "What's nothing?" "Um, everything."
  4. "Narcotics, please!"
  5. "Thanks for reviewing my extensive list of neuroses/trivial complaints, Doc. One more thing though, while your hand is on the doorknob and you're 40 minutes late for your next patient: every time I exert myself I've been having this crushing radiating chest pain. Not a big deal, right?"
  6. "C'mon, Doc, there's GOT to be something to help me feel better! No, I mean *beside* quitting smoking, drinking less, exercising more, and eating better."
  7. "I know I was just here yesterday and the day before and you told me everything was fine, but would you mind looking at my genitals just one more time? Please???"