7 THOUGHTS AS I END MY 27TH YEAR
Tomorrow is my 28th birthday and I'm having a little bit of an existential crisis full of emotional crests and troughs.
- 1.Sad: I wrote no books this year.Since last May, I've struggled through some revisions (that still ended up crappy), but didn't write any new rough drafts. FAIL. I'm never going to get published if I don't pull it together!
- 2.Happy: I lost a lot of weight this year.Our scale is currently broken but I'm down at least 30 pounds and probably closer to 40 by now. Easy excuse to buy new clothes!
- 3.Sad: I had no babies this year.I lost the weight in order to get pregnant easier, which worked, but I had an early miscarriage in March, sooo... I've been depressed for a few weeks now. And I want to get a book published before I have a baby! That will suck up my writing time more than teaching/grading/planning does...
- 4.Happy: I got tenure and actually kind of feel like I know what I'm doing this year.So even though teaching is draining for li'l introvert me, at least I feel like I have a skill set somewhere in life.
- 5.Sad: a bunch of my friends' parents passed away this year and I'm low-key panicking about losing mine.My empathy kicks in easily, so I've been really hurting with all these friends and acquaintances. I love my parents! I have the best mom and dad! I hate that life is short! I have done an okay job of spending extra time with them, and otherwise trying to live life to the fullest (like the spontaneous Canada trip), but still. 28! I'll be late 20s for sure, no more pretending to be mid-20s. Aaaaaaaah everything diiiiiiies
- 6.Happy: I know who my friends are.They are books. And breakfast burritos. (Just kidding) but seriously, even though I have a lot of acquaintances that I super enjoy being around, I don't have the energy to spend the quality time necessary for valuable friendships with them. The year of 27 was full of adventures with the few friends who are my loyal, kindred spirits—and that is encouraging. Let's keep up the good work, 28. Even though I'm scared of you BECAUSE
- 7.Sad: WHAT IF I WAKE UP TOMORROW AND LOOK LIKE MELISANDRE SANS MAGIC NECKLACEAaaaaaaaah guys I'm getting oooooold