Places I've heard security get mad
At me, my friends, or strangers
- •The Accademia Museum in FlorenceMy best friend was trying to secretly take a picture of Michelangelo's David's penis
- •The Getty Museum in Los AngelesI was trying to study an intricate painting very closely like Cameron in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" but a guard told me I was standing too close 🤷🏻♀️
- •The gas stationA homeless lady was screaming at people getting gas, so the security guard came and told her to leave the premises, so she called him the n-word and then ran away
- •The Arboretum in ArcadiaMy friend's 2-year-old was throwing rocks into the fountains and bushes and fields and a guard in a golf cart kept following us around to tell her "your son can't throw rocks. Your son can't throw rocks." I don't know man, looks like he CAN. You just don't want him to.
- •A Brandi Carlile concertI had a water bottle. I guess that's super illegal in case it's a bomb or vodka or something. I get thirsty at concerts, so sue me
- •My high schoolThe one I attended, not the one where I teach. A girl was using her vibrator under a lunch table 🙈 Her defense was "it's my birthday present and I deserve a birthday treat"
- •The Louvre in ParisMy friend got tired and sat down and I guess he wasn't supposed to sit there. It looked like a bench to all of us... maybe it was priceless art
- •The grocery store parking lot in EncinitasDon't you dare park here to eat at Pipes Cafe across the street. You WILL get yelled at. Have tried it twice unsuccessfully
- •The Chunnel, French sideMy ancient laptop was literally falling apart so you could sorta see wires underneath parts of it so the guard thought I had a bomb and I almost got arrested. Scariest one while happening, funniest one in retrospect. I hated that laptop. Plus when they searched me I had a "The Office" Dwight-head-shaped stress ball in my pocket which did NOT help matters