Things I'd rather be doing than grading these essays

Every year, the juniors have to write 3-5 page argumentative essays. And I have to grade them. We spend forever writing, researching, reading samples, peer revising, etc. but there are always WAY TOO MANY students who don't put in effort. It drives me crazy. Now I'm sitting here with my stack and feeling DEPRESSED. I'd rather be:
  1. Hiking with my dog
    (We did that this morning... I should never have left the trail.)
  2. Eating avocado toast
    (I tried to do that this morning... my stupid avocado isn't ripe yet. It's been 3 days! I made peanut butter and banana toast instead.)
  3. Sitting on the beach reading a good book
    (It's an hour to the closest beach and if there wasn't so much traffic showing up on Google Maps right now, I might have gone for it.)
  4. Traveling!!
    (There's so much of the world left to see... why didn't I hop on a plane and embrace the 3-day weekend???)
  5. Drinking wine
    (Pregnant problems! I made hot chocolate instead. Just doesn't hit the spot the same way...)
  6. Cleaning the bathroom
    (I hate this chore but it's always worth it when it's done. Some of these essays are so bad that I'm considering ditching them to clean my bathroom. That's right, SCRUBBING A TOILET WOULD BE MORE FUN RIGHT NOW.)
  7. Going to the dentist
    (My one phobia is the dentist. I know it's irrational. I think I've developed my first cavity, in my back left wisdom tooth. This should highlight how desperate I am to not be grading these.)
  8. Staring into space
    (Maybe I will find a wormhole to crawl into that leads to an alternate reality where my president isn't a racist, misogynistic, lying, unintelligent, unqualified, unpredictable reality TV star.)
  9. Banging my head against the wall
    (It would probably all have the same results, because the kids who didn't put the effort in to this massive final draft won't put any effort in to read all the feedback I'm providing.)
  10. ANYTHING
    I need a hug.