ADVENTURES IN SLIGHT STALKING

  1. Saw a boy walking home after I got off the bus
  2. He was cute and lovely and had on chucks
  3. He also had a CVS bag with the following contents:
    Tostino pizza rolls / wine / what looked like cold meds
  4. Those bags are clear as hell
  5. My first thought
  6. "What's his address?"
  7. My second thought
  8. "I wonder if he will give me like, 75% of the wine and pizza rolls and let me pick what we watch"
  9. 3rd thought
  10. "Like, what stage of sick is he. Like, if we make out how sick will I get?"
  11. 4th thought"
  12. "Fuck it, it's cold, I'll just instacart and masturbate"