ADVICE FROM MY MAMA

Let it be known that Rochelle is crazy but I love her. Her advice has always been off the walls but it always manages to pop in at the right time.
  1. Dance by the exit
    Because in case something pops off in the club you can just leave out
  2. Wear clean panties
    Because if you get hit by a car and have dirty panties on in the ambulance I will tell them you are not my child
  3. Bring your own drink to the club
    Because you know if it's drugged or not and you save money
  4. Keep alka seltzer tablets in your purse
    So you can pop one in your mouth and act crazy in case you think someone is trying to sneak up on you. People don't mess with crazy folks foaming at the mouth
  5. Wash clothes after you buy them from the store
    Because folks are nasty and not everyone washes they ass before they go to stores and try things on.
  6. Keep a knife under your pillow
    So you can stab a robber and surprise his ass before he surprises you
  7. Make the money, don't let it make you
    Because once you start letting it make you there ain't nowhere to go but down
  8. When you are walking home at night look people in the eye you are afraid of
    So you can let they asses know "I see you seeing me and I want you to know I see your ass seeing me, so come on with it"
  9. Sleep with a chair under your door during the holidays
    Because folks is crazier at Christmas and try to steal damn near everything, especially in good neighborhoods
  10. Never let a man tell you what to do
    Because once you let them tell you what to do once they think they can run you, shut it down quick to shut his ass up
  11. Check your receipt when you leave the market
    Why are you paying 2.00 for something when it's marked on sale for 1.80? You better get your twenty cents, you never know when you'll need it.
  12. You're not too good for a coupon
    Because saving money makes dollars and dollars make sense
  13. Always have mad money your husband doesn't know about
    Because she's been married to my dad for damn near 38 years and has money he doesn't know about (and she says your husband doesn't have to know EVERYTHING)
  14. Always check envelopes on the ground
    Because She's found money in them several times so now she expects it to happen again and again (and it has...just last week actually)
  15. Pray & trust God
    Because when you think you have no one, he's there to guide you and give you peace and hope