ADVICE FROM MY MAMA
Let it be known that Rochelle is crazy but I love her. Her advice has always been off the walls but it always manages to pop in at the right time.
- •Dance by the exitBecause in case something pops off in the club you can just leave out
- •Wear clean pantiesBecause if you get hit by a car and have dirty panties on in the ambulance I will tell them you are not my child
- •Bring your own drink to the clubBecause you know if it's drugged or not and you save money
- •Keep alka seltzer tablets in your purseSo you can pop one in your mouth and act crazy in case you think someone is trying to sneak up on you. People don't mess with crazy folks foaming at the mouth
- •Wash clothes after you buy them from the storeBecause folks are nasty and not everyone washes they ass before they go to stores and try things on.
- •Keep a knife under your pillowSo you can stab a robber and surprise his ass before he surprises you
- •Make the money, don't let it make youBecause once you start letting it make you there ain't nowhere to go but down
- •When you are walking home at night look people in the eye you are afraid ofSo you can let they asses know "I see you seeing me and I want you to know I see your ass seeing me, so come on with it"
- •Sleep with a chair under your door during the holidaysBecause folks is crazier at Christmas and try to steal damn near everything, especially in good neighborhoods
- •Never let a man tell you what to doBecause once you let them tell you what to do once they think they can run you, shut it down quick to shut his ass up
- •Check your receipt when you leave the marketWhy are you paying 2.00 for something when it's marked on sale for 1.80? You better get your twenty cents, you never know when you'll need it.
- •You're not too good for a couponBecause saving money makes dollars and dollars make sense
- •Always have mad money your husband doesn't know aboutBecause she's been married to my dad for damn near 38 years and has money he doesn't know about (and she says your husband doesn't have to know EVERYTHING)
- •Always check envelopes on the groundBecause She's found money in them several times so now she expects it to happen again and again (and it has...just last week actually)
- •Pray & trust GodBecause when you think you have no one, he's there to guide you and give you peace and hope