THINGS THAT NEVER FAIL TO HAPPEN DURING HALLOWEEN SEASON

  1. Carve pumpkins on the Sunday before Halloween
  2. By Wednesday throw pumpkins into compost bin because the inside is completely filled with mold and the bottom of the pumpkin is sagging and the whole thing may collapse under its own weight.
  3. Watch kids shrug and say "oh well."
    Which I guess is the best alternative.
  4. As payment for carving pumpkins that eventually mold and collapse, take all the kids Reese's on Halloween night.
    They sort of freak out about this.