WHAT SHOULD I SAY TO THE COUPLE AGGRESSIVELY MAKING OUT IN MY COFFEESHOP?

  1. "I'm sorry, we don't allow heavy pets in the store."
  2. "Our pastries are French, they don't need competition."
  3. "I've heard of extra-hot lattes but this is ridiculous!"
  4. "Please Stop. Customers tend to lose their appetites when they want to vomit."
    Suggested by   @kate81
  5. *picks up blueberry muffin* *throws it at them from across the room* "HAY. YOU QUIT THAT."
    Suggested by   @marymurphy
  6. This...right here...is extra! Cash, credit, debit? Whip or no whip?
    Suggested by   @bdot
  7. Are you hiding from bad guys, because that's the only logical reason why that's necessary
    Suggested by   @libby92
  8. *start to maniacally slow clap until you're wildly thumping your hands together inches from their faces*
    Suggested by   @chriscady
  9. Just stand up and deliver your best rendition of Bump N' Grind.
    But only if you could totally get into it. You need to be as committed to your performance as they are to their PDA--otherwise, it's a doomed proposition.
    Suggested by   @alligeeshow