5 Things I Learned in School That Didn't Matter... But I Thought It Would

We all remember learning things in school, rolling our eyes, and sighing. "I'm never going to need this!" But the fact is: I thought it mattered. All of it! ...and in fact, they worried me.
  1. Stop, Drop, and Roll
    I suppose there's value to teaching kids about safety, but we spent a lot of time on this in school. I honestly assumed that catching on fire had to be a common thing and at some point I would have catch on fire and have to remember this important lesson. I wonder if there was enough kids catching on fire to warrant these lessons.
  2. Inspect Your Halloween Candy
    I remember being very worried as a little kid that there might be poison or razor blades in my candy. I wonder agonize and spend several minutes on each fun sized piece of candy.
  3. Black Holes
    I remember learning about black holes and assuming that they were a common thing in space and that I would at some point hear about an astronaut getting sucked into a black hole on the news. To be fair maybe this one wasn't the schools fault and just my own neuroses.
  4. Dewy Decimal System
    I go to the library every other week, but I've never known the great mysteries of Dewy
  5. Cursive
    I was a really good student as a kid but I always got deducted for penmanship. I was told cursive was the only way people wrote when they become adults and that it is the quicker way to write. Oh well jokes on them, we all use computers and I have excellent handwriting... Check out my blog joshwoodjokes.com if you want proof.