QUESTIONABLE QUESTIONS YOUR SCHOOL MATH TEXTBOOKS ASKED YOU (AND THEIR REAL ANSWERS)

  1. Q: You just won 100 million dollars in the lottery: Should you take the lump sum or the annuity? A: NEITHER, BIYOTCH! You just won the lottery, you pay someone to figure that crap out for you!
  2. Q: Two trains 10 miles apart are heading towards each other, one at 40/mph and one at 45/mph. At what point will they collide? A: STOP THE F***ING TRAINS!!! PEOPLE'S LIVES ARE IN DANGER!!! THIS ISN'T A F***ING JOKE!!!
  3. Q: Sally has six apples and Bobby has four apples. If Sally takes two of Bobby's apples, how many apples will she have? A: Sally, that b*tch. You already had the most apples! YOU CAN'T STEAL HAPPINESS, SALLY!
  4. Q: A pair of $150 boots is on sale for either 25% off or $25 off. Which discount should you take? A: You should not be buying those boots, no matter what sale Zappos is emailing you. You gotta pay your rent, boo. And if you somehow have money left over you're going to blow it on Ubers to Chipotle.
  5. Q: What is a real number? A: 8. Because real numbers have curves.