I'd like to think Bridget and I would be the best of friends.
  1. "I choose vodka and Chaka Khan."
  2. "That was it. Right there. Right there, that was the moment... I suddenly realized that unless something change soon I was going to live a life where my major relationship was with a bottle of wine and I'd finally die fat and alone and be found three weeks later half-eaten by wild dogs, or I was about to turn into Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction."
  3. "I already feel like an idiot most of the time, anyways."
  4. "Wait a minute, nice boys don't kiss like that."
  5. "Bridget Jones, wanton sex goddess with a bad man between her thighs. Mum, hi..."
  6. "It's a blip, Latin music is on its way out."
  7. "Now I'll go home and de-bunny."
  8. "Shut up, please. I am very busy and important. P.S. How dare you sexually harass me in this impertinent manner?"
  9. "Resolution 1: Obviously will lose twenty pounds. Equally important, will find sensible boyfriend to go out with and not continue to form romantic attachments to any of the following: alcoholics, workaholics, commitment phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits or perverts."
  10. "And especially will not fantasize about a particular person who embodies all these things..."