CHRISTMAS IS RUINED FOREVER BECAUSE

  1. Peanut is sick as hell.
  2. Vet bills be putting me in debt.
  3. It's warm outside. IN BUFFALO. IT'S DECEMBER.
  4. Ham is nasty. And I don't think I nice Jew like Jesus would appreciate celebrating his birthday in such an un-kosher way.
  5. My childhood home gives me the willies.
  6. I'm eating my sadness.