FREE ANALOGIES

Following are some analogies to prepend or append to any upcoming tweet or conversation
  1. That's like taking a gerbil to the vet.
    When someone suggests doing something useless.
  2. That's like naming a children's hospital after Joe Paterno.
    When someone is competent on one domain and super incompetent in another is recommended for a position of leadership.
  3. He's like the Richard Branson of the office.
    To describe somebody as awesome just because everyone else does.
  4. That's like kneeling during the national anthem.
    To describe someone's action as an atrocity, that clearly isn't.
  5. It's like being in the trenches.
    Whenever a bro doesn't want you to know about his uncontrollable man crushes.
  6. That's like finding a razor blade in your apple.
    Whenever you want to validate something is dangerous with an unsubstantiated claim.
  7. I gotta piss like a racehorse.
    When you're about to do something even more disturbing.
  8. It's like they drank the Kool-Aid.
    When you want to make a point and still remain incredibly tone deaf.
  9. When everybody stands up after the plane reaches the gate.
    Describing a nasty funk.
  10. Like that first cigarette after Mexican food.
    Something more satisfying than a carne asada burrito.